Doctor Who: The Ghost Monument

Classic Chibnall…but that’s not a good thing.

Okay, good points first: the new title sequence is  a great call back to the classic era and the new TARDIS looks great. Not 100%, but I’m pretty sure that the new console has a spinning version of the exterior built into it that indicates how hard the engines are working.

But alas, as feared, Chibnall strikes with his regular issues. Namely, SO MUCH TALKING.

But anyway, the plot.

The Doctor and her new friends have been transported into space, following her attempt to locate the TARDIS. They survive by virtue of two intergalactic ralliers picking them up having mistaken them for bargaining chips. It’s gradually revealed that the finish line for the rally is a mysterious blue box that appears and disappears every thousand years.

So basically, the set up is that everyone is racing each other to the TARDIS.

Here’s where the problem starts; Chibnall cannot write filler dialogue in action/sci-fi. Broadchurch works so well because 99% of the story is driven by the emotional drama. There’s once sequence, where DI Hardy tries to chase down the suspected murderer, but most of the drama flows from evoking emotion through exposition.

You cannot use the same method when writing a story about a death race. I mean seriously; they set up these massive stakes and then we spend what feels like a an age on a boat talking about how bad cameos number 1 & 2 ’s lives are. Then we get a point where we think there might be a double cross when one of them suggests that everyone should go to sleep. Then everyone wakes up and discovers that everything’s fine. Do you know what that tells me? It tells me that Chibnall got bored of his own exposition but didn’t know how to end the scene, so literally put everyone to sleep.

This problem stands throughout; there’s no flow to the conversations that the characters have. They talk to each other and say things because the plot requires it, not because it comes naturally out of their personalities.

The attempts at light comedy fall completely flat in this episode. I’m not sure who to blame for the utter failure of using Ryan as comic relief. Well, actually, you could probably blame everyone. Chibnall’s script doesn’t lend itself to comedic interruptions, Mark Tonderai’s direction appears to have been  “it’s really hot out here; use the first take” and finally, Tosin Cole just does not have the comedic chops for the job.

Chibnall’s also forgotten the primary rule of visual story-telling; show, don’t tell. If all the characters are talking and then an army of killer robots appears behind them, the audience is made aware of the killer robots appearance by the sight of them. We do not need Bradley Walsh to say “they weren’t there a minute ago.”

Patronising your audience is not a good way to get them to tune in next week.

This is exactly the type of thing I worried about when it was announced that Chibnall was taking over. There is a complete absence of tension created by the lack of pacing. There is nothing natural about the dialogue or the characters’ interactions and the resolution at the end doesn’t match either of guest characters’ motivations.

Classic Chibnall; poor effort.